I think I'm an adult

yes, blog readers, I've become an adult.

Well, I think I have. I go to bed early, I yearn for my lunch hour and 5:30 is my new favorite time of the day.

I have an office:


I have to iron everything I wear.

I have a caffeine addiction.

I HAVE BUSINESS CARDS.

I only buy clothes that I could wear to work.

I HAVE PERSONALIZED NOTEPADS.

I don't want to be on my computer when I get home because I sit in front of one all day.

omg how did this happen? I know that with graduation, a job follows, but what the crap...I became an adult with a job and bills and credit card applications and ironing responsibilities head-on.

Good thing I'm going to see my fun friends this weekend and avoid all adult responsibilities besides driving a car and drinking beer----not at the same time, OBVIOUSLY.

--your more-blonde-than-she-planned-on-being-friend-katie

tips for you

I went shopping today for some decorations for my office at work (that's weird to say) and there are some sweet sales going on right now!

Kirkland's has just about everything on sale: mirrors, picture frames, lamps...and yes, I bought all of the above for under $40! Do you subscribe to their e-mail? If not, you should, because they e-mail out coupons every week.

Ulta has 20% on the first Tuesday of every month for anyone who shows a college ID. Did I realize this on the first Wednesday of the month? I sure did. But, I asked about it and it counts toward anything you buy--including Bare Minerals! That stuff is never on sale and can never be used with a coupon at Ulta so definitely take advantage of that.

Hobby Lobby has 50% wall art and picture frames. I bought a picture frame, gold letter 'K' (because I feel oh-so-very Mary Richards right now) and a photo collage board all for under $20!

I'm so excited to start work and decorate my office! I'll take pictures of it once it's set up....and I've actually started :)

It's Wednesday, so I'll be at Dutch's tonight for some pitchers!

OH! ONE MORE TIP FOR YOU!

Sonic is giving away free rootbeer floats tonight from 8p-midnight! Enjoy!

xo

so tired

Today was exhausting. It was non-stop and I didn't even have time to pee.

Seriously. I had to pee for 3.5 hours while I was furiously walking through crowds of drunk, sunburned people.

I don't have a lot of crazy stories, but I'll write the ones I do have later.

love, your tired and beer-covered friend,
katie

shake your hair for me

Alright alright. Colonial day...4 (I just had to count the days on my fingers).

Can I just say I'm glad I have this blog because I will want documentation of all the things that happened to me during the tournament and we all know how terrible my memory can be.

This morning it was so hard to wake up. I snoozed for a good 35 minutes and was just barely on time to work today. But honestly, if I did show up late, 1) no one would notice 2) no one would care.

Anywho, it was slower today than it was yesterday and that sucked, but I ended up making the same amount of money. SO...if today's people had been there yesterday, I would have BANKED. But, I did well today so it's all good.

My first table of the day was this sweaty guy, probably in his late 20s or early 30s. He was seriously sweaty--he kept wiping his face off with the cocktail napkins I left on the table. He ordered a water and I brought it to him and he tipped me $5 for a $3.50 water. Awesome. He asked me if there was somewhere quiet he could go to make a phone call. I said the only place that was quiet in our tent was right outside because there are speakers anyway. Well, he went outside to make his phone call and he came back in (more sweaty than he was to begin with) and he hugged me (ew, sweaty hug) and thanked me for telling him where the quiet area was because he had just gotten a job! Woo! Well, he thanked and hugged me about three more times and then he left.

These two older men named Brian and Ken came in and stood at one of my tables, so I went up to them and asked what I could get them to drink. They said they were looking for their buddy, so they were good for now. Well, no less than five minutes later, I see them at the bar with two cold beers. I went up to them and gave them a hard time for not ordering from me and they felt bad so they just gave me some money.

See, all you have to do is ask.

I talked to them for quite a bit about their lake houses, their favorite golfers (I'm a good listener) and Brian asked me if my mother was as pretty as I am and I said she's very beautiful, and then he asked if she was single. I said no, she's happily married to my dad. Sorry, Brian. They went to sit with their friend once they found out my mom was single and I wasn't interested.

Well, I guilted them so well that they would come back to me for more beers. It was great. Then, Ken left and Brian stayed. Brian didn't drink anymore, but he gave me $10 for "being so pretty" after he had already given me $20 in tips for the 4 beers I got him and Ken.

old men + katie = $$$

OH MY GOSH I JUST FORGOT THE BEST THING ABOUT BRIAN:

He asked me if I knew how to do the "Beyonce dance." I asked him which one, because let's be honest: the woman has some dance moves.

He said his ring tone is "Single Ladies" by B and he wanted me to dance to it if it came on the radio inside the tent. I told him I didn't really know the dance, but if it came on, all the servers and I would dance with him to it because he said he knew the dance!!! Sadly, it never came on.

My buddy Floyd came back with his kids today! I got him some Bud Lights and he introduced me to his kids (they're adults) and I found out this was the OTHER son of Floyd's, not the one who is single. Bummer.

People at this tournament are really taking a liking to my hair. One guy asked me to shake my hair. I felt awkward doing it--because it was awkward--but he got some thrill out of it and I got some extra money out of it on the credit card receipt. All in a day's work.

Another thing about this tournament that's very interesting is the discussion around my age. People think I'm older than 22. I don't know about the other servers, but all of my tables like to know how old I am, and I make them guess before I tell them. As you know, Floyd and George thought I was 27 and 29. Here's a fun story about my age today:

old guy 1: I'll have a yellow belly.

me: (confused look) What's that?

old guy 1: haha that just shows your age, sweet heart. And, I guess it shows mine. A yellow belly is a regular old Coors. Not that light shit.

me: ooohh...I've never heard it called that.

old guy 1: How old are you?

me: You need to guess before I tell you.

old guy 2: You're 22.

old guy 3: You're young enough to be my daughter.

old guy 1: You're old enough to say 'yes' to me.

me: (feeling sufficiently awkward) (pointing to old guy 2) He's right. I'm 22.

old guy 1: You'll still say 'yes' to me, right?

me: Depends what you're saying. (then I walked away)

The bartenders in my service station think it's funny that people guess my age from 22 to 29 so they had their friend who was in there today guess my age and he guessed 24/25. I don't get it. Hopefully when I'm older I look younger.

Bartender friend drew me a picture today that was P.G. It's of me, my giraffe that looks like me and him (he has a mohawk) and his giraffe that looks like him and we are a "happy little giraffe family."



iiiiiiiiit's GINA time!

Did I tell you how old she is? She's 41. Gina has three kids: two boys and a girl. The girl is 16 and Gina said to me, "She's dating a black guy. But it's okay."

WHAT?

Gina.

I said, "Love is love. As long as they're good for each other, skin color and anything else don't matter."

Gina said, clearly surprised that I was ok with the fact that her white daughter has a black boyfriend, says, "Well, some people don't like that kind of shit."

Classy.

Gina took out her cell phone and showed me pics of her kids (and the black boyfriend) and then she showed me a picture of her boyfriend who's 52 with a big mustache and long gray hair and owns a motorcycle.

Gina drives a black Mustang convertible. Are you surprised? I'm not.

I sat next to Gina in the shuttle van back to our cars today. She doesn't shave her thighs. GROSS GROSS GROSS. Her leg hair is blonde (am I actually writing about this?) but that does NOT justify anything. SICK.

Just before the van got us back to our cars, Gina said she was going over to Ridglea CC. I asked why (because she wanted someone to) and she said one of her tables invited her over to their club for dinner and drinks tonight. I would take an offer from strangers like that as a fake invitation, but not Gina. She was planning on going. So we'll find out how that went tomorrow.

Ok, I'm about to pass out. There will be more stories tomorrow, I'm sure.

peace, love, and golf tournaments,
kt

ps: I learned a pearl of wisdom from one of the female bartenders:

"Kids are awesome. Their dads are dicks who don't do shit. So have kids but don't keep their dads."





Yikes.

am I annoying you? yes.

Man, what a day. I am pooped. And my feet KILL. But I will persevere and write you a post all about day whatever this is of the week and of the tournament.

We started at 8 a.m. after finishing up at 10:30 last night, so I started off the day being tired. We did some set up with table cloths, bar stool covers and then we had to clean out some banquet stuff that was left over.

I sure lucked out with that assignment because I got to work with my friend from work last summer, Meredith and GINA! (it's funny--some people call her "Gina" as in va-gina) Anyway, we loaded up the golf cart with heat lamps, serving dishes, other things that I can't remember their names, but everything was metal and clanky. We put all of these metal clanky things in a metal bed of a golf cart. Now, imagine this cart on a golf course. Yep, we were the noisy girls in the pink tank tops making noise all around the course as we drove back to the club house to drop off the clanky things. I couldn't help but laugh because everyone would look at us when we had to come to a complete stop because someone was teeing off.

That last story may not be as funny since you weren't there, but it was fun. Anyway, I learned something neat about Gina (pronounced like va-GINA)! I noticed the other day she was had some glitter on her chest, but I didn't know if she had been making a poster or at a birthday party, so I didn't think too much of it. But today I learned that Gina does, in fact, purposely wear glitter AND it's from a sex/fantasy gifts merchant online. Gina says it comes in four different colors (but she mixes them all together and they pretty much all look the same) and it smells AND tastes delicious. TMI Gina.

As Gina and Meredith and I were on the cart driving back to the tent, Gina commented on how everyone has been checking her out and telling her she has a nice ass. And wow, look, everyone is looking at us on the cart as we're driving around. Man, being hot is awesome. What's it like, Gina?

Oh, her hair was curly today.

Okay, so we're back in the tent now and we're officially open. People were slowly trickling in and this old guy came up to me and the woman whose section was next to me (and also empty) and said that we should start dancing on the tables so people would sit in our sections. Apparently whoring yourself out is the way to get some cash at this place. I said to this guy that I only dance for people who chose to sit in my section and that it's too early in the tournament to start dancing just yet. He said he'd come back to "see the show." I hope he forgets what I said because I was so kidding.

My favorite drinkers today were Floyd and George. We each have these persona funny looking little table tents that say "your server is ______" so when people sit down, they say, "oh, you must be Katie!" (clever, clever people) and I say, "I sure am" and blah blah blah what can I get you to drink and blah blah blah. Some people are fun enough to tell me their names and some are even more fun(ner) and shake my hands and become my new friends. Such is the case with Floyd and George.

They're retired military men (I thanked them for their service) and were just here to hang out and we shot the shit and had some nice convos and I even got to sit down at their table which was awesome. Well, as I was bringing the men their beers, George says to me, "man, you just really impress him." (meaning Floyd)

I say: I do? How so?

Floyd says: you just do...you're so great! You know, I have a son--who's single--about your age.

I say: Oh really, how old is he?

Floyd says: 37.

I say (and I imagine my face shows disgust and shock): How old do y'all think I am??

They guess 27 and 29.

Shit.

I say (as I smile my "oh shit, really?" smile and shake my head 'no'): No...I'm 22!

They say: Really? Well, good for you. You look great.

I say: Obviously not if you think I'm at least 7 years older than I really am!

I calmed down and we chatted and tomorrow Floyd is going to bring his son and daughter so I can meet them. Later on during the afternoon, these little hussies came in passing out cards for some cabaret club around here and they passed out cards to Floyd and George so I teased them and said they were cheating on me. I think they felt bad because they started tipping me more after that :)

This one woman came in with her boyfriend (they're my parents ages) and she told me ALL about the golf players' wives, and who looks the best, who's a frump-a-dump and anything else she thought. She was so fun to talk to! We chatted about hair products, how to style curly hair and all that good stuff. People at this tournament have really taken a liking to my hair.

One of the girls I work with is super annoying. Her name is Emily and she's always bouncing around, slapping everyone's ass and singing and dancing on us. It's not in a cute, fun, "oh, look how happy Emily is" kind of way, it's in a "good gracious that girl needs attention and should calm the hell down" kind of way.

Well, as we were waiting for the accounting people to fix a problem so we could get paid out and get the hell of the tournament, Emily kept jumping and singing and acting really immature. She was literally bouncing into me. I looked up at her and looked at her in a "how old are you?" kind of look and she said, "am I annoying you?" and I said, "yes." And then she said, "oh, sorry." Then she was quiet for about two minutes then got right back at it. Oh well. At least I was honest.

Bartender guy did draw me another picture but it's inappropriate so I don't want to display it on my blog. Hopefully today's picture is more P.G.

I fell asleep before I could finish the blog from Wednesday, so I will try to type faster tonight when I get home from work.

love to you!

old, creepy men love me

Alrighty. Colonial tourney day 2. We had the same pro/am dinner tonight, but with twice as many people attending, so there was a LOT more going on. I had a good section of people to serve, and the Tommy Bahama girls were back! Yes! George Lopez was there, so that was cool. I wish someone more famous had been there, but he did a good job hosting the pro/am pairings. He was drinking double Goose and cranberry, if you're wondering. He walked in the room and headed straight to the bar. I appreciate his style.

Roq and Rebs, our boyfriend Danny M. was there....so I could just end the post here because that's all that mattered, but I have SO MUCH MORE to write about!

Gina update: I'm starting to think she's a liar. Today she came in with straight hair and I made a comment about it (I said it looked nice, and it did--compared to her curly look from Sunday) and she said, "thanks honey, I make better tips with it straight." That's not what she said the other day and I'm wondering if that was a slam against my curly 'do.

Actually, if it was a slam, that's okay, because you need to hear about this story:

I'm standing by the bar, keeping an eye on my tables when this old-ish guy walks up to me and says, "I love your hair!"

I say (with a smile): Thanks!
He says (with his hands dangerously close to my face and my hair): It looks so soft....I'd love to touch it.
I say (with a little hesitation): well, you can...if you really want to...
He says: Awesome! (he then pats my hair)
(awkward pause)
He says: Hey! I like your ass! Can I touch it?
I say (with what I can only imagine is a surprised face but I cover it up with a large smile): NO! Nice try!
He says: Come on, you have to admit that was a good try.
I say: Yeah...but it's not happening.
(awkward pause)
He says: Well, I'm gonna go get a drink then since I can't touch anything else.
I say: Okay, that's probably a good idea!

For as many people (men) who have asked to touch my hair, none have followed up with a question like the old-ish guy, so kudos to him.

Here's another creepy old guy story:

I had a table full of oogly-eyed old guys, probably in their late 50s. If I had a dollar for every time they looked at me and winked or smiled creepishly at me, I'd have a lot more in tips than I made tonight. One man was drinking scotch and water (I told you he was old) and at the end of the night he asked me how many boyfriends I have.

I said: oh, aren't you sweet. I don't have any.
He said: You've gotta be kidding me. Are you holding auditions?
I said: ......no......I'm not.
He said: Honey, if you ever do, you let me know and I'll be first in line.
I said: ......that sounds like a plan. You have a nice night, sir.

He didn't even tip me well enough to make that story worthwhile. Psh, some boyfriend he'd be!

One of the bartenders flirts with me a lot, but I'm not sure if it's genuine or if he's trying to pass the time or make sure I tip him out well or if this is his personality, but I go along with it because he takes my drink orders before everyone else, so whatev. Anyway, it somehow came up how much I love giraffes (why does that always come up??) and he has drawn me a picture of me with a giraffe each day. It's a little weird, but funny:

Day 1: me riding a giraffe


Day 2: me taking a giraffe for a walk


I'll add one each day, don't you worry.

That's about it. I worked from 2-10:30 and I have to be back at 8 a.m. so I'm going to go wash my face and go to sleep! Tomorrow will be a long day--I think I'll be done around 10 again. What makes tomorrow more interesting is that we switch over to hot pink tank tops and shorts. oooh yeeeaaahhh

Oh, I'll leave you with this: as I was driving down University to go home tonight, a little Krispy Kreme truck FLIES out of the Albertson's parking lot and nearly tipped over. Imagine if doughnuts had flown out. Man, what a perfect ending to the day!

love, your friend with the big hair,
kt

yes, I am alive

I have seriously neglected this blog over the last month. Let's recap what has happened so far: I got an internship, graduated and spent good quality time with my fam and friends, I got a job (and then turned down the internship), went to the pool a lot, went to the gym kind of a lot, got another job (it's my dream job so now I have to turn down job offer #1) and now I am working as a server at the PGA tour down the road at Colonial. It seems like I've been busy, but it's been a good mix of down time, party time and sun time. I let my room get out-of-control messy and then I cleaned it today before I left for work.

Let me tell you about working at the golf tourney.

Yesterday (Saturday) was orientation day. Everyone who's working the tourney had to come in and get their schedules, parking passes, shirts, info from their supervisors.

Let me tell you where I'll be this week: I'm working in what is known as the "party tent." It's what the club's COO calls "the place where people go and forget they're at a golf tournament." So, what the tournament directors do is hire young, attractive ladies to serve, and good looking dudes to bartend. It makes sense. They give the young ladies tank tops to wear instead of the normal Nike polo shirts everyone else gets to wear. Hey, whatever gets me tips, right?

Okay, back to orientation. I got there relatively early so I didn't have to park in BFE or stand in line forever. So once I got through the line to check in and the line to get my bright pink tank top, I sat down next to Gina at our assigned table. Gina is probably in her late 30s/early 40s, but she looks early because she smokes and tans. So, she smells like tanning cream (I swear that smell does NOT leave your pores, no matter what body wash you use), hair spray, smoke, perfume and mint gum. Mmmmm smokers. Gina has a few snaggle teeth (and they're all yellow), long chunky-highlighted hair and is pretty skinny for her 5'8" frame. She's wearing a low-cut hot pink tank top and tight black pants and strappy sandals from the mid-1990s. Can you picture her yet? Well, she starts talking to me, which is fine, but I'm tired, a little drunk still/mostly hungover from the night before and running on three hours of sleep without any caffeine in me, which makes me less than willing to have a conversation. But, I make small talk with her anyway, because I can't go anywhere.

Gina starts to tell me that she used to work at the club and made some SERIOUS tips. That's awesome, good for you Gina. Why ever did you leave? Oh, because she's so good at serving that the other servers were jealous. Wow, you're such a martyr. But don't worry she says, she's banking at her other job, and she's planning on making a "shit ton" of money this week at the tournament. It's good to have goals. And, Gina tells me, she used to be fat! Can you believe it, she asks! No, I absolutely can not, Gina. Yes, indeed, she used to weigh 85 more pounds. But then she started drinking weight loss shakes and power bars and she dropped it all off. I am so proud of you, stranger who is telling me her life.

This one-way conversation was annoying me, so I took an intermission to get a muffin. Diet, my ass!

I get back to the one-way convo and Gina tells me that her hair used to be curly, just like mine. Get out, Gina! She then asks me what kind of perm I get. I gasp because she finally allowed me to speak! I tell her it's not a perm, and is in fact, natural, then she tells me that she gets better tips when her hair is curly, so I probably have a good chance this week. Thanks Gina. She then went on to tell me about how if she makes a "big ass" tip this week, she's going to pocket it and not share with everyone, like we're supposed to. Ummm that's not how it works, Gina.

Moral of the Gina story: don't be a Gina in conversations--allow other people to speak. Also, don't be greedy and so self-involved.

Tonight (Sunday) was our first night of work. I saw some creepy, pervy, older, married men doing things that make me want to stay single for the rest of my life. It's hard to tell those stories without gestures and changing the inflection in my voice, but use your imagination, then use it some more, and you'll be somewhere near the perviness of tonight.

Did you know Tommy Bahama makes rum? Well, he does, and three very blonde, orange young ladies came to promote it at the dinner. When the bartender was making what were CLEARLY mojitos, one of the T.B. ladies asked him, "so, like, what am I serving?" ummmmmmm Tommy Bahama rum mojitos? You watched him make them.

Moral of this story: orange skin = unintelligent.

Working at this place makes me drink large glasses of wine when I get home. Good thing it's only for the week!

I will try to keep this updated more, and given the last two days, I'll have plenty of material.

Here are some pics:


this picture is posted on a lower blog entry, from four years ago :)


go frogs!


frog family

until next time, love love love